actually, I'm a sock model
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
