Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I will die if light touches me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
