In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
