Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
