Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
