I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize