I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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