WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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