I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's blow job season.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize