I'm so fucking centered right now
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
