Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
