I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
