The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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