I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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