Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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