Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
