he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
