he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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