Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
