Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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