so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize