If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm way too hungover for life right now
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
