You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
