do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
