how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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