I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
