you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
