i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
