I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
