Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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