You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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