Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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