on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
