Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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