yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
