69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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