how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
