if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
