In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've blown a few things in my day
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
