that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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