i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize