I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
honey bunches of taint.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
