you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize