Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize