being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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