HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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