So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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