I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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