Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize