Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
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I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
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I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.