like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.