a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
