she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
