thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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