U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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