sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
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My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
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So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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