ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
