How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
